


We always come back home

by stevenatalia (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Minor Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Minor endgame compliant, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Steve Rogers, Triggers, a fix it i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-08 17:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19475713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stevenatalia
Summary: Natasha gripped as tight as she could as she felt his hand subtly slipped by the second. The muscle around her arm shivered as they began to overwork. She swore to never let go.“Nat, you made your son a promise.” Clint's voice barely louder than a whisper, still shaking in fear.





	We always come back home

**Author's Note:**

> With rumors suggesting that there was an alternative script where Clint was the one who sacrificed instead of Nat, I have been thinking about what would happen if their circumstances were equal: both of them have family and children. So, I bring in James Rogers!  
> So I decided to explore these two concepts in one fic; (1) if clint was the one who sacrificed (2) Steve/Nat's relationship with James in the picture.
> 
> (P.S. it's tagged as angst with happy ending and not Major character death so you get the hint)

A two-hour-old peanut butter sandwich remained untouched on the disorganized desk in front of her. She had been soullessly staring into the dimmed far corner of the room for god knows how long, blinking every now and then in an attempt to bring herself back to reality. Occasionally, her eyes filled with tears that blur her vision, but they never fall. She couldn’t let herself be weak.

_Stay strong, you are not allowed to cry._

She thought about those training she had since childhood, well, one that she never really had anyway. She thought about the years of intense training that taught her to control and suppress her emotions in order to be a top-class spy. Most of the time, it was all too easy. Nobody was ever able to read the feelings and hear the noises inside of her. She often thinks that it is an advantage, because then, she can protect and hide the little vulnerable girl inside of her from everyone around her.

Natasha looked down at the peanut butter sandwich, her stomach doesn’t call for it, but she knew she had to eat despite having no appetite. On lonely nights like these, she tries to prepare her favorite food to at least uplift her appetite for something, and peanut butter sandwich is definitely one she loved.

She took a big bite and put the remaining down. She leaned back against her swivel chair as she chewed slowly, before swallowing the large churned up lump of food down her throat. _Oh._ She felt the pain sliding down her throat and then on her chest, it almost felt like she was swallowing her big ball of emotions back in from coming out.

That ball of emotions, that ball of pain, quickly came all out as she shut her eyes tight, placing her palms together with her fingertips pressing her nose bridge.

Her mind a mess.

_Cry. You’re alone tonight, nobody will see you. Just cry, just let it all out._

_No. You are trained to be stronger than this. Do not cry, do not show your emotions, wherever you are, and whoever you are with._

_Cry, do it!_

_No. Stop it._

_Cry! The little girl inside of you needs her feelings out! She needs help!_

_No! You are a spy, a top-class spy who was trained to show no emotions. Emotions are weak, just as love is for children._

_Cry, Natasha. It’s okay._

A tear flowed down her cheek. She let her emotional side win. For all these years, she had always allowed her defensive side to dominate. Tonight, she lets her vulnerable side come out, she needed that, the little girl inside of her needed that. Tonight, she is fully Natasha Romanoff as a human, not a hero.

“Mommy?” a soft voice instantly stopped Natasha’s tears from coming out.

She lifted her head up and through her blurry vision, she saw a little redhead boy rushing towards her, his hair bouncing as he ran. A bigger sized blonde stood by the shelf, bike keys in his hands and a black leather jacket in another. She only took a short glance at him as her attention was grabbed by the little redhead running towards her.

Natasha coughed out a breath as she broke into a smile. She lifted the little redhead boy up and settled him on her laps.

“Mommy, why you crying?” he leaned into his mother’s body, placing his head on her chest whilst facing his right side.

“Oh James, mommy’s not crying. Mommy’s just tired.” She wiped a tear off her cheeks with one hand and patted James’ lower back with the other. “What are you and daddy doing here this late? Why aren’t you sleeping at home?”

“Little James couldn’t sleep well for days without his favorite mommy.” Steve, who was now leaning his shoulder on the side of the shelf, answered for his son.

Natasha smiled at the sight of Steve’s soft smirk at her. She knew this smile all too well, she knew he wanted to cheer her up in the slightest way possible. She was also relieved because after being alone and overworking for five days, she could really use a little company from the person that always provide her with a sense of security. It felt like a huge load of weight had been lifted from her shoulder, especially with her son now in her arms.

“You know, James and I went to the beach yesterday. We collected some seashells, fed seagulls…” he chuckled, “…he built a sandcastle which looked like a mountain.”

“You know, if you’re about to make me feel bad about not joining you two, I’m about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.” She gave him a big smirk as she continued to pat James’ back in a soft and rhythming manner.

Steve maintained his smile and walked over to Natasha, before pulling a chair out from underneath the desk and plopped himself on it. He’s now directly facing his wife and his son, whose heavy eyelids are beginning to droop.

He can’t help but feel heartened at the sight of James being so content in his mother’s arms. Natasha felt the same as she continues to gently pat her son’s back, the little redhead who she missed so dearly after not hugging him for days.

“You know, I keep telling others to move on. Some do, some struggle. I think we’re the latter, even if we are trying to raise our boy and move on with our lives.”

Natasha stayed quiet for a few seconds before turning to Steve. Her gaze was absent of light and radiates little energy. They seemed soulless.

“James coming into our lives is a true blessing, Steve. But I owe it to the rest of the family, I owe it to everyone who is not in this room to at least try.” She let out a sigh, “because I used to have nothing. Then I got this. This job… this family. And I was… I was better because of it.”

Steve watched the tears exit from the corner of her eyes, quickly rolling down on her soft cheeks.

“I can’t just stop everything, Steve, you know that. Even if there is only a small chance of undoing the snap, I still have to carry on the job for our family. We do what we do, as good people, we protect the earth. I’m here to do it for our family. I’m here now, still trying to be better.”

“I know, Nat. But look at you…” he reached forward to tug a small strand of her red hair behind her ears and then wiping her tears off her cheek with the back of his index finger.

She forced out a smile at his touch, but Steve could tell how broken and exhausted she was, both physically and emotionally. For a trained spy who was known for how skilled she was in hiding her emotions, this time she couldn’t succeed. It was all too obvious.

“You’re tired, Nat, you’re exhausted. You work so tirelessly but you’re already good enough, you know that? We can’t always be the best, and I know you’re just focusing on being better every day, but sometimes allowing yourself to relax and putting yourself first is important too.”

Natasha moved her hands from patting James’ back to Steve’s, who was stroking her cheeks as he was speaking. Her fingers intertwined with his and she turned her head to place her lips on the back of his hand.

“Thank you, Steve.” He gave her a soft comforting smile like he did earlier on. Natasha could never get bored of that.

“I love you, Nat. You’re the best. The best mother to our little James, the best wife I could ever ask for, and the best hero the world would recognize.”

“I love you too, Steve.” She finally let out a smile that was brighter than before. Even though she never really absorbed compliments, a little comfort by the man who had always been loving her unconditionally was always enough to temporarily put her insecurities aside.

They both agreed to ditch her peanut butter sandwich and order a pizza delivery before Steve carefully carried James, who was fast asleep in his mother’s arms, upstairs into their bedroom.

* * *

“Uncle Clint!” The little redhead ran to his favorite uncle, which he so quickly declared two days ago, despite only knowing him for two weeks.

“How’s my cheeky James?” Clint opened his arms to invite James for a hug before lifting him up.

Clint had been feeling a mixture of emotions ever since Natasha brought him back from his vigilante activity in Japan. A mix of gratefulness, grief, hope, bitterness and maybe a little regret. The loss of his family during the snap placed an emotional toll on him, one that drew out his anger. In the last five years, he could only put those anger in becoming another version of himself, an assassin – known as Ronin – taking out criminals all over the world with his Katana. His pain never really subsided with each murder count, but this was the only way he could channel his inner anger and survival guilt.

Being told by his best friend that there may be a small chance of hope in bringing his family back had brought him back from the world of rage. With his anger seemingly gone, however, a new set of emotions flow in as he learned that his best friend has a 4-year-old son with his work colleague. Surprise was a short-lived emotion, but he was definitely happy for both of them.

Little James had gained a few new aunty and uncles over the last two weeks as the Avengers family returned to the compound to work on their time heist plan, but uncle Clint was a favorite to him. He loved shooting toy arrows with him, and uncle Clint certainly knows how to divert his attention to something else when he’s about to throw a tantrum. After all, Clint has, or had, been a great father to three of his children.

Playing with James constantly had Clint reminisce on the good times he had with his family. Before being on house arrest for violation of the accords, he always had a family to return to after his missions. A farmhouse away from the crowd that was always filled with laughter, a place that allowed him to feel like a normal man living a normal life again.

Hearing James’ laughs remind him of his children, sometimes it gives him a sense of happiness, sometimes it gives him a sense of bitterness, sometimes it reminds him of the love his children have for Aunty Nat. Whatever he was feeling, he tried to put it aside and be the best uncle to the little redhead.

“Hey!” Natasha popped her head over the door frame that leads into the small meeting room, her braided hair dangling over her shoulder. “Just in time, Clint. Tony and Rocket were done building the time heist portal. The rest of us are just discussing who should go on a trial run.”

“Mommy, can I please play with uncle Clint for a bit?” little James pouted his lips - something he had learned from his dad when his mom teasingly doesn’t reciprocate his hug.

“James, honey, uncle Clint has to work now, he’ll be with you in a little bit, okay?”

“Oh no, Nat.” She looked at him in slight confusion.

“I could use a little break today, I’ll be in the next room with this cheeky one, fill me in later when you’re all done.”

Clint decided he would stay out of the discussion as the thought of half of the universe’s population, including his family, can potentially come back. He didn’t know whether to feel hopeful, as he was afraid they would fail again this time. He couldn’t bear to handle the fluctuation of emotions, so he decided to opt-out for this time.

He put James down on the floor and grabbed the toy arrow, teaching James the proper standing position before preparing to shoot, just like he once taught his daughter right before the decimation. One foot about 45 degrees to the right, one foot to the front, shoulders relaxed and most importantly, being able to see the target.

He overheard the discussion that was going on in the meeting room. Rhodey, Hulk, Nebula and Scott were squabbling about the rules of the time travel theory being different from the movies.

“We have enough Pym particles for one journey each, plus two test runs” Scott uttered in a serious tone.

A short burst of electronic sound occurred before he continued, “one test run.”

“Okay, maybe it’s enough trial runs for you. You’ve done enough, Scott.” The captain voiced and received a smile from his biggest fan.

“I’ll do it”, the group turned to the sound of Clint’s voice, some of their attention on his arm full of tattoo.

The combination of playing with James and overhearing their discussion had made him determined to face his inner worry – the worry of keeping his hope too high, the worry of not being able to deal with the loss of his family, the worry of not being able to move on without feeling angry.

“I’ll go back to a day when I was on house arrest. I know where everyone in the house was, I can go back and grab something without being caught.”

“Clint, you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

* * *

Chatters filled the common room of the Avengers compound as the sky began to grow darker. Occasionally, there were loud cheers from Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula who were playing board games.

Bruce was keeping an eye on Thor, who promised not to drink more than two bottles of beer. The two of them were relaxing on large hammocks in the balcony as Bruce filled Thor out on how he learned to make peace with the green guy over the past years.

Tony and Scott were on a video call with Morgan and Cassie who were at Tony’s farmhouse. The two developed a close bond ever since they’ve met about three weeks ago. Pepper wanted the two of them to have a sleepover at the compound with their fathers before the big day, but their fathers preferred to keep them out from the workplace. Scott would throw a cushion at Rocket sometimes when his shout overpowers the two girls’ voices.

Steve took his counseling skill to use as he was talking to Clint in the dining area. For the past five years, he honored a close friend of his by running group counseling sessions up in Washington D.C.

“How’d you feel when you went back there?”

A short silence commenced.

“Shit, really. But I’m glad I did it.”

Steve nodded, encouraging Clint to elaborate further.

“I missed them so much. When I took the baseball glove, I heard their voices. I was really close, you know, I almost mess things up when I ran to the house and shouted for Lila’s name.”

Clint took a sip of water, placed the cup down on the table and then rubbed his chin area.

“But you gathered up some courage to face them, to face your family.”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes that’s the way to help you move forward, Clint. When you face the things and people you once loved, knowing you can’t have them back, it takes a lot of strength and courage, and that’s what helps you to overcome certain emotional strain you have inside of you.”

Clint chuckled, “is that one of the inspiring quotes you write down in your notes and take it everywhere with you?”

“Well, I had to do it for four years ever since I came out of the ice. It’s not easy, but you learn to move on. I know the context is different from what we are facing now, but what I am trying to say is, you can’t avoid reality and expect to move on. That’s why I do this group therapy thing, for Sam, and that’s why I go to Wakanda to check up on Okoye and the Wakandans sometimes, for Bucky.”

“You’re right, Cap.” Clint was half-staring into space as if he was in deep thoughts. “You go check on your wife, I’m heading upstairs for tonight.”

Steve gave Clint two pats on the back as he walked past him, then turned to look at Natasha who was carrying James with one arm and flipping pages of a storybook with the other as they were in the kitchen. He walked towards them and gave both of them a peck on their cheeks.

Unlike Tony and Scott, Steve and Natasha decided to have James with them for the night. They wanted to cherish every little moment with him; besides, they also think that a little exposure to their parents’ work can be healthy for him.

“How was your little counseling session?”

“I think he’s got it a little clearer now. Him volunteering for the last trial run was a good choice, it helped him process some more.”

“Thanks, babe, for talking to him.”

Steve wrapped an arm around her, with James now in the middle of them.

“Mommy, what’s that?” James took an interest in a page full of stars and planets.

Natasha let out a soft smile, “that, little one, is called space.”

Steve reached out his finger onto the white shiny lights on the page, “James, remember what I told you about these?”

“Stars!”

“Clever boy. These, James, these are called planets. We all live on a planet called Earth.”

“Can we go to space? Space is beautiful.”

Natasha let out a small laugh and pressed her cheek onto James’ head.

“Somewhat. That’s… where mommy’s going tomorrow.” She whispered.

Steve could sense a drop of happiness in her tone, not that she wasn’t excited to go to space for the second time, but to a deserted planet where Thanos once killed his own daughter? Sounds more like an apprehensive journey.

“I want a star, mommy, bring back a star from space.” James turned his head to face his mom, giving her a mischievous smile. _Gosh, he had definitely learned a lot from his mother._

Steve and Natasha laughed at his innocence before closing the storybook. They proceeded upstairs to give James a shower and then tucked him into bed. He fell asleep within minutes, leaving Steve and Natasha more spare time for themselves.

“Nat?”

“Yeah?” Natasha was folding some of her clothes on the bed when she turned to Steve who was sitting on the other corner of the bed.

“You didn’t sound too excited earlier, you sure you’re okay with going to Vormir with Clint after all?”

“Mhmm. Don’t worry, Steve. It’ll be fine.” She turned back to continue her task at hand.

Natasha turned back to him with curiosity when her response was met with his silence.

“Steve. Don’t worry, babe, I’m really fine with it.”

“You say that all the time, Nat. Always pushing your fear away and pretend everything’s fine. You don’t have to be this strong all the time you know?”

“Well, you know me too well, Rogers.” She placed the last piece of clothing on the stack of neatly folded clothes. “And you know I won’t back down.”

He raised an eyebrow and a corner of his lips.

“Come on, it will be fun!”

He maintained his silence.

“I get to go on a space trip!” she whisper-shouted.

His eyebrow relaxed and his smile widened.

Natasha leaned forward and gave him a light punch on his muscular shoulder, “or are you just jealous I get to go to space?” she teased him.

He finally broke into laughter, “Whatever you say, honey.”

She gave him his favorite smirk.

“Just promise me you’ll be safe, okay?” Steve cupped her face with his hand, then leaned closer and shared an intimate kiss.

“I promised James I’ll bring him a star anyways.” She whispered as she broke free from their kiss, before leaning in again for another one.

* * *

“Ready?”

“What, you planning to chicken out now?”

Natasha rolled her eyes and forced a fake laugh. “I promised my son to bring him back a star, Clint.”

“What? No way. That greedy boy, he gave me a hug earlier and asked me to bring him back one too.”

“Did he? Then he’s a smart one, you know, like me.” She gave Clint a nudge on the shoulder before strapping herself into her seat. “Buckle up, no time to waste.”

“Let’s go then.”

Clint activated the auto-flight mode after strapping himself in. The spaceship took off from planet Morag into the direction of planet Vormir, which co-ordinates were pre-set by Nebula.

The force of the speeding spaceship pressed their bodies against their seats, they felt the skin on their cheeks waving rapidly. It wasn’t Natasha’s first experience, but it still triggered that same feeling she had five years ago. A mix of thrill, excitement and nervousness.

“We’re a long way from Budapest!” Clint shouted over the loud soaring engine of the spaceship. He was met with an excited smile from Natasha.

The yellow-orange light from the far horizon reveals the desert-like surface of the planet. The ground was hilly but never beyond 45 feet in height. Some lower grounds were filled with calm shallow ponds. Purple and a little mix of pink lights washed the sky and painted the atmosphere with a sense of peacefulness. There was no sign of any form of life, only mist floating around.

Clint and Natasha hiked up the only mountain present in the middle of the remotely barren, yet beautiful planet. White flakes fell gently on them and the atmosphere turned colder as they climbed higher.

_Gosh, this is a better view than Sokovia._

They reached the peak, only to be met by heavier flakes fall and colder atmosphere. They took interest in the small platform beyond the two tall standing rock. They were about to walk forward when a deep, ghostly voice activated their quick reflex.

“Welcome,” they turned around in sync, Natasha clocked her gun while Clint pulled his Katana out from his sword holster. Fierceness portrayed on their facial expression.

The ghostly figure emerged from the shadows, revealing his red, disfigured face. A black hood covered the rest of him as he floats above the ground. 

“Natasha, daughter of Ivan, Clint, son of Edith.”

“Who are you?”

“Consider me a guide. To you, and to all who seek the soul stone.”

“Oh, good. Tell us where it is, then we'll be on our way.”

“Ah, lieschen. If only it were that easy.”

The redskull floats forward and past them. Natasha and Clint eased their tension but remained alert as they followed him to the edge of the cliff, the platform they were interested in earlier.

“What you seek lies in front of you. As does that which you fear.”

“The stone's down there.” Natasha peeked down as she stood close to the cliff, Clint didn’t bother looking as he was in disbelief. He strolled in circles as he scratched his head.

“For one of you. For the other, in order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul.”

Their heads shot up at the Redskull upon hearing the phrase. Natasha switched her gaze to Clint, only to see him laughed in disbelief and shook his head.

“You’re lying.”

“Clint…”

“He’s lying. You’d expect me to believe a red floating guy in the middle of nowhere, on this mysterious planet? How’d you know if we can get the stone? How’d you know if the other one would safely make it back?”

His anger began to make an appearance after being gone for nearly four weeks. Natasha walked closer to him and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“Clint, calm down. Listen, I don’t think he’s lying. I didn’t know my father’s name. I told you about the time I went back to Russia to find my parents, their gravestones didn’t have any names.”

He stared at her with pity eyes.

“Also, Thanos, he… he came here with his daughter. She didn’t make it back with him. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, Clint.”

He breathed out a sigh and felt his anger fade away as he began to think about what to do instead.

10 minutes passed, both of them were sitting on a rock while redskull remained floating on the same spot, patiently watching over them.

Natasha stood up first, Clint quickly followed.

“If we don’t get that stone, billions of people stay dead, Clint. I can’t let this happen.”

“Neither can I, Nat. You ain’t special.”

“Good, then I’ll get going now then.”

“I guess you didn’t catch me talking about myself then?”

“Clint. No. I can’t let you do this. I have been doing this for five god damn years, all these to get to this point. Saving the world, bringing families back, including yours.”

“What about your own? You have a family to return to too, whether they were snapped or not.”

Natasha’s eyes filled with tears at the thought of Steve and James, both the love of her life. But her empathic self thought of Clint’s family and her Avengers family as well. For the past decade, her growing family showed her with nothing but love, they gave her a life and now she wants to do something for once to pay them back. This is Natasha all along, always thinking that she owed everyone a debt.

“Listen, Nat. I owed it to my family too. What have I been doing for the past five years? Let me do this, it’s the only way of redemption. Let me do this for my family, let me feel useful for once.”

“That’s not happening, not on my watch.” She raised her arm in a blink and shot a widow bite at Clint, the electrocution temporarily paralyzed him as he fell onto the ground.

She turned and frowned in determination to get to the edge of the cliff. Her feet picked up speed and she felt the cold wind gushing through her face. She was four steps away from the edge and a small explosion on her left foot caused her to fell off to the right.

Natasha looked up, another arrow was shot towards her foot and it exploded again, the smoke blurred her vision and decreased her chance of stopping him. Behind the grey smoke, she briefly saw him sprinting towards the edge of the cliff.

His leap was stopped by the catch of his hand, he looked up at the struggling best friend of his, clenching her teeth and squinting her eyes as she gathered all the strength she had to hold onto him. Her other hand gripped and pushed against the edge of the cliff stone to prevent herself from falling with him.

“Nat, let go.”

“No!”

“Tell my family I love them, please?” his voice shaking.

“You tell them yourself, Clint. Don’t do this, please.” Her voice began to coarse and tears dripped off her face down the cliff.

Natasha gripped as tight as she could as she felt his hand subtly slipped by the second. The muscle around her arm shivered as they began to overwork. She swore to never let go.

“Nat, you made your son a promise.” Clint's voice barely louder than a whisper, still shaking in fear.

Clint unwrapped his finger and Natasha felt his hand slip through her grasp. She tried to reach for him but failed, only to see him rapidly grew smaller in her visual image. They locked eyes until he disappeared behind the hasty mist. It was a short pause before she heard an impact from the bottom of the cliff.

“No…” her voice shaky and her arms numbed, but the emotional and mental impact of what just happened overshadowed the physical pain.

A white glow rose from the bottom of the cliff and covered her entire vision as it reached the peak, causing her to pass out.

Natasha felt her body half-submerged in water as she regained consciousness. The nearer sky full of purple and orange in the far horizon reminded her of the events that had taken place. She pushed herself up from the shallow pool of cold water.

“Clint?” she looked around but heard no response.

The rough surface of a circular object in her right hand caught her attention, she opened her palm and a wave of realization hit her as she acknowledged the very thing her best friend traded his life for – the soul stone.

She let out a cry, wanting to fall forward to let the pool of water release her from this bad dream. But the quantum helmet covered her head and a wave of electronic sound followed. In a split second, she found herself flying through the quantum realm with the rest of the Avengers.

The team emerged on the same spot they were all standing just a minute ago.

“Everybody got the stones?” Tony puts his briefcase down as their quantum helmets released their heads.

A quick scan around the circle of team hinted one missing person. They all turned into that missing person’s last seen spot, only to register that he was truly absent.

Natasha’s facial expression was blank and emotionless. She stared into the space in front of her. Her muscles weakened from the emotional trauma, the orange stone fell to the ground and her knees gave in.

Steve’s quick reflex caught her by her arm, he frowned at the realization of what just happened.

There was a short pause, the silence felt eerie.

“What happened, Natasha?” Scott couldn’t hold back his curiosity, Clint was one of his closer Avenger friends, anyways.

Steve was kneeling next to her, his hands still supporting her around her shaky arms. He frowned harder as he noticed her wet eyes. Her mouth was slightly opened, but she couldn’t get any words out.

“Please, don’t tell me… No.” Scott stepped back and shook his head.

Hulk ran off the quantum portal and gave out a loud frustrated yell, similar to the big scary green guy they knew all these years.

The rest of the day was spent in silence and isolation. Each of the team members decided to call it a day, to grief for the loss of their close friend. That night, Scott and Rhodey went out for a drink. Thor hid in his room. Nebula, from the 2014 timeline, was nowhere to be seen. Rocket, Hulk and Tony continued working on the stones and the new gauntlet after taking a long break in the afternoon. Their progress was slower due to the haze in their mind, but they made sure no mistakes were made. They let Natasha held onto the soul stone for the night while they worked on the other stones first.

It was a dark and rainy night. Natasha sat on the bench in their mini open area in the compound, allowing the rain to pour over her in hopes of washing the pain away. Her gaze was still soulless and aimless. Her leg crossed over another while her elbow rested on her knee. The glow of the soul stone dominated in the dark. It rested on her loose grip.

Steve kept an eye of her from a distance for 10 whole minutes before he couldn’t bear watching his wife soaking wet in the rain for any longer. He joined her under the rain, holding her cold hands as she blinked herself out of her messy mind.

“Come on in, Nat.” he finally broke his silence, but she insisted on staying.

“I don’t want you to fall sick, Nat. He wouldn’t want it too.”

“It was supposed to be me, Steve.”

“It’s not supposed to be anyone.”

“I owed him a debt. I was supposed to repay him by bringing his family back. I was supposed to be useful for once, I was supposed to be the one who plays a part in bringing half of the universe back, Steve. I have been working so hard, I have been wanting to do something good for once in my life to bring lives back, but I fail. Now what? I lost another family.”

“You’ve done your best, Nat. You don’t need to lose your own life to redeem yourself for past mistakes. It’s not how it works, not on my rule. It’s the good inside of you that matters.” He gave her hand a squeeze, the light of soul stone shone through the gaps between their fingers.

“Listen… some of us were gathered by the lake outside earlier today, and Thor was right.”

She turned her gaze at him, slightly frowning in confusion.

“He strongly believed that we can get Clint back, Nat. Space stuff. Magic. Nobody knows their rules better than an almighty god from outer space, right?” his tone in encouragement.

“But the red floating guy, the stone keeper, he said it was an everlasting change, it’s a soul for a soul.”

“Listen to your heart, Nat. Listen to what you believe in.” He leaned forward to meet her gaze, the glow from the stone lit her eyes up, he could clearly see his soaking self in her eyes’ reflection. “I always say and believe there are good in everybody. As long as you have a soul, you have good in you, no matter how big or small. You were able to achieve the stone because he had a soul, so I believe we can bring Clint back when we return the soul stone, Nat. That’s what ‘a soul for a soul’ means to me.”

Her furrowed eyebrows relaxed, “you’re right.”

Steve raised the corner of his lips, “I’m always right. And I don’t trade lives.”

She gave him a sad smile.

“Now, come on in before you get sick.”

Natasha’s energy in the next morning was noticeably better. It wasn’t the morning sun that lightened her mood, but the thought of Pepper bringing the kids over to the compound for the morning excited her.

As she and Steve reached the bottom of the stairs that leads to the common room, they were met by a little redhead happily running towards them.

“Mommy, Daddy!” The three of them shared a tight group hug.

“Did you behave?” Steve just had to check on his son’s mannerism over at Tony’s farmhouse.

“He was a good helper around the house, I had lesser chores.” Pepper declared Tony took Morgan from her arms and gave them both a peck on the cheeks.

“See? I was a good boy,” before his parents could say anything, he continued blabbering while jumping up and down “mommy, did you bring me a star? Where’s uncle Clint? Did uncle Clint bring me a star? Where’s the star, mommy?!”

“Sweetie, listen…” she gently held his hip to stop him from constantly jumping. She forced a smile and looked directly into his eyes, “I have got something for you. It’s not a star, but it’s similar, it’s something more beautiful.”

“What is it?” his wide ocean blue eyes looked back at her green eyes.

Natasha reached into her pocket and removed the orange glowing stone, bringing it closer to James as he stared at it in awe.

“This is called the soul stone.”

“Did uncle Clint get me one too?”

“James, uncle Clint is the one who gave you this.”

“Huh?” his high-pitched sound portrayed innocence.

“Uncle Clint is inside this soul stone, James.”

“Is he dead?”

Those words gave Steve and Natasha a minor shock, where did he learn about death?

“Sweetie, uncle Clint is not dead.” Steve decided to take over their conversation, he pulled James in and wrapped one arm around his tiny body as he noticed the sadness in James’ eyes. “Souls never die, James. See how the stone is glowing?”

Natasha brought the stone closer to him again, she refused to speak for now, for fear that she would break down in front of the little redhead who was already starting to become upset.

James lowered his head and pouted his lips as he wraps his tiny fingers around the orange glowing stone. He stared at it closely as it’s light entered his eyes. He was fascinated by its beauty, but not for too long. He dropped the stone back onto Natasha’s palm and buried his face into his father’s chest.

“I don’t want it anymore, get uncle Clint out from it.” His speech muffled as he spoke through Steve’s shirt.

Steve lifted him up and rubbed his back as the little redhead began to shed tears. Natasha also stood up, she bit her lips hard at the sight of her son’s distress. _Is he comprehending the situation in similar ways as we do? Or is he just scared that uncle Clint is trapped inside the stone forever?_

Steve refused to promise James something he couldn’t be sure he could keep, so he remained silent. Natasha was a fully grown adult and would be able to handle unkept promises better than a four-year-old kid. He looked at his wife with a concerned expression as he continued to soothe James’ back. Maybe they shouldn’t bring James into their work-life after all.

* * *

Debris of the shattered Avengers compound – the home, as Natasha called it – scattered around the platform. Some were covered in flames, dark smoke covered the air in the atmosphere. Some familiar objects can be found damaged and darkened on the ground. None of those mattered at this moment as the whole team was busy fighting an army full of aliens. It was a long battle, energies draining but the fighting spirit remained high on both teams.

Steve ran through piles of debris, punching and knocking any enemies that got into his way. He searched for Natasha to ensure her safety after Thanos ordered rain fire on the compound. He tore an alien’s head off and smashed it against another alien’s head, easily defeating them out. He climbed onto higher ground and scanned through the bodies that were fighting beneath him. The sight of a redhead in black suit performing her signature leg twisting kick on an alien made him felt partially relieved that she was alright.

He rushed down the pile of debris and his gaze briefly met hers. She smirked at him before swinging her baton at an incoming alien, completely knocking him out. Before he could continue taking down the enemies’ troop, his attention was directed to the purple villain nearby.

“I… am inevitable.”

He snapped, but nothing followed. The stones on the gauntlet were missing, and Steve noticed them crawling up Tony’s own gauntlet. His body flinched when they fit into their spaces and sent a wave of radiation down his arm.

“And I…” Tony clenched his jaw, bearing the pain, “am Iron Man.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder just as he snapped, in split seconds the red, yellow, blue, green, purple and orange light combine to form a white celestial light that radiated through Tony’s body. The white light rays flowed into the other person through his arm. A gust of wind spins in a tornado around them as if forming a ball of dust covering them.

Through the pain from the radiation and the bright light emerging from his eyes, he could recognize it was Quill who was sharing the pain with him. Quill’s shoulder was quickly grabbed by another hand and the radiation flowed into the man whose suit represented the nation’s flag. The chain quickly grew longer, and the pain was spread across the family of superheroes.

A ball of white light blew up and spread across the entire battlefield, everyone was freed of pain and no radiation lights were visible on their bodies, including Tony’s. Suddenly the quiet atmosphere was seen with clouds of dust blowing away in the direction of the wind.

“We did it.” Steve let out a big breath.

“We did,” Tony said in realization. He wiped the blood from his forehead and walked towards the purple villain. He watched his body fades into dust, before delivering his final words, “You lost.”

* * *

“You ready?”

“Mhmm.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, grandpa.” Natasha turned to her nagging husband, who was standing next to her on the quantum portal.

Steve grabbed the case with five of the infinity stones in one hand and Mjolnir in the other. Natasha had the soul stone sealed in her hand.

“Ready when you two are!” Bruce stood behind some monitors and machines he managed to rebuild using the scraps left from the battlefield.

“See you in five seconds.” She flashed him his favorite smirk. He returned her a soft smile, though he was worried for what will, or will not happen in Vormir.

A click of a button and the two of them disappeared from the scene.

* * *

In a blink, she was on this deserted planet again. The celestial lights of the sky still fascinated her, but this place had planted a new memory in her mind, one that she hated the most.

She brushed the feeling aside and hiked up the mountain the same path she did before with her best friend. It was a little lonelier this time.

“You have returned,” that familiar voice echoed.

Natasha turned around feeling alert but kept her batons in her backpack.

“The stone is in your possession, for what I am curious now, is your purpose of being here again.”

“I am here to get my friend back. You said a soul for a soul.”

“Ah yes, I have also clarified that it was an everlasting change.”

“You don’t know anything. I will get him back.”

She took heavy steps towards the edge of the cliff. Her nervousness grew as she approached nearer. That spot triggered an unwanted memory, a haunting experience she encountered with her best friend on a beautiful planet. _Be brave._ She repeated to herself the words Steve said to her the night before.

Natasha stood about one foot away from the edge and felt the cold wind blew against her face. She opened her palms and take one last look at the beautiful glowing stone.

“Come back to your family.” She whispered and tossed the stone over the edge of the cliff.

In seconds she was blinded by a flash of white light.

“Nat…?” she heard a faint voice echoed in her mind.

“Nat.” it began to feel surreal as she slowly regained consciousness.

She saw a blurry vision of a familiar face. His hair wet and silk backward. Her eyes widened as she recognized his face.

“Clint!” she jolted up in surprise. “It worked!”

They gave each other a tight hug as they sat on the pool of water, it was the physical touch that made them believed that it was all real.

“But what happened?” Clint asked as they broke free from their hug.

“A soul for a soul. Space magic.” She smiled and turned her gaze away for a second, “and believe.”

“Did we win?” Clint’s first thought when he woke up before Natasha was his family, as they were also the last thing on his mind as he fell to his death earlier on.

“Yes. They’re waiting for you, Clint.”

“Let’s go then.”

Natasha passed him an extra pair of quantum suit. They set their coordinates and blinked away from the planet forever.

* * *

He took quick and large steps across the field of grass, approaching the familiar white farmhouse he hasn’t seen in a while, apart from the trial run he took a few days ago.

Laughter could be heard from a distance; he could tell the children were running around in the wooden house. The entrance door flung open and his wife ran out with a wide smile. The three children followed behind.

He dropped his belongings on the ground to give the four loves of his life the biggest hug. He jovially ruffled his youngest son Nathaniel’s hair before giving his full attention to Laura. His lips met hers, but it was soon disrupted by a voice from behind her.

“Uncle Clint!” the little redhead ran towards him.

“Hey little boy!” he squatted down and wrapped his arms around the tiny boy.

“Did mommy give the star back so you can come back?”

Clint chuckled before he gave James an affirmation, “yes, she did.”

“Then where’s mommy and daddy?”

“Why don’t you look over here and find out?” Natasha’s sneaky tone captured their attention.

James bolted towards his parents who were approaching them from behind Clint.

She held out her arms and lifted him up as he reached her, bursting out bouts of laughter as she teasingly threw him up high in the air. She repeated it at least three times and then stopped to hold him before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Steve gave out one of his brightest and also rarest smiles at the sight of their reunion.

James reached out to his dad as the pair continued to stroll towards the Barton family. Steve took James into his arm and he was greeted with a hug. “I missed you and mommy.”

“We missed you too, James.”

Natasha and Laura exchanged a friendly hug before she turned to Clint.

“You’re home now.” She smiled at them.

“Thanks to you, to all of you.”

“You played a big part, Clint.” Steve never failed to give everyone the recognition they deserved.

“Well, so what’s the plan now?”

Steve and Natasha looked at each other, smirks appeared on both faces.

“We’re retiring. We’re moving into the outskirts of New York.”

“Tony’s working on rebuilding the compound for the new members. We’ll probably drop by occasionally. Besides, we get to see pods of whales over the bridge in the Hudson every time we head in and out of the city.”

“I wanna see whales!” James excitedly cut in.

Clint wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulder, “well, you two deserve it. Go get the life Tony’s been asking you two to get.”

Natasha flashed a smile at him, “I guess this is goodbye then.”

“Please come by often, the kids will miss aunty Nat.” Laura reached out to Natasha and Steve for one last hug.

“We will.”

They bid goodbye to the Barton family before turning around to head back to their car.

“Where are we going now?”

Steve and Nat gave him a sweet smile.

“Home.”


End file.
